“Lord, Teach Us to Pray”

Luke 11: 1-13

Pastor Deb Troester, STHPC, July 27, 2025

When did you first learn to pray? I was about three or four, spending the night with my aunt. She said that we had to say our prayers before going to bed. I told her that I didn’t know how to pray, so she taught me that little prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep.” Later, I would add on, “God bless, Mom. God bless Dad, God bless my brother Doug, God bless my brother Jeff, God bless our dog Buster, God bless our cat Tammy” and so on.

My husband Joe learned a similar prayer: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I parked my go-cart in the street. If it should start before I wake, I pray the Lord to pull the brake!” Needless to say, I did NOT pray that prayer as a child.

But when I got a little older, I started to wonder, “Is ‘Now I lay me down to sleep’ the only kind of prayer?” How are we supposed to pray?

Prayer is mentioned over 500 times in the Bible, over 50 times in just the Gospels. The passage we read this morning begins with Jesus praying. When he finishes, the disciples ask him, “Lord, teach us to pray.” Jesus teaches them what we now call “The Lord’s Prayer.” Yet, in its simplest form, prayer is talking to God, no matter what words we use. Some of the best prayer advice I ever got was, “When you pray, just talk to God like you are talking to a friend.” There aren’t any magic words or special formula you must use.

Jesus starts his prayer with the word “Father.” Addressing God as father implies a kind of intimacy and understanding. As a good earthly parent will love and care for their child, God loves us and wants what is best for us. If your father was unloving or distant, it’s OK to think of God as a mother. If you imagine that you are talking to Jesus, it may be easier. Just speak from your heart, even if you start out, “God, are you really there? If you are, here’s what I want to tell you about.” Remember the man who told Jesus, “I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief”? Jesus did not scold him. When we are talking to God, we are talking to someone who loves us and wants to hear what we have to say.

So, do you have to kneel when you pray? Some prefer to, but it isn’t necessary – you can pray standing up, sitting down, or even lying in bed – as long as you don’t fall asleep! In Psalm 63, David writes, “my mouth praises you with joyful lips when I think of you on my bed and meditate on you in the watches of the night…” Some people pray while they walk. I have done this. The Upper Room devotion (available at the greeter’s table) recently told of a group of people who pray while running on the track at a local park. We can pray anyplace, anytime.

If you are not sure what to pray, the Lord’s Prayer is a good place to start, but there are even simpler prayers. Author Anne LaMott has written a book on prayer entitled, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers, a book I highly recommend (Help, Thanks, Wow, by Anne Lamott). She also had some misconceptions about prayer as a child. One friend of hers thought God’s name was “Howard,” as in “Howard be thy name.”

Lamott (who lives in Marin County, by the way) writes, “God can handle honesty, and prayer begins an honest conversation. …when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to God.” For example, one of her prayers is, “God, I am exhausted and depressed beyond words… It is all hopeless, and I don’t have a clue if You exist, but I could use a hand.” The point is, that we can say anything we sincerely feel to God, without worrying if we will be condemned or rejected. As it says in 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your cares upon God, for God cares for you.”

So, how should we pray? Be honest, and talk to God as you would talk to a trusted friend or family member. God can handle our anger, depression, worry, or guilt. Speaking of guilt, Jesus tells his disciples to ask for God’s forgiveness and to forgive others: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” That is why we Presbyterians always include a prayer of confession in our worship. But you don’t need to come to church to confess your sins. You can ask for God’s forgiveness anytime.

Why do we pray? Some people have the impression that God is like a cosmic Santa Claus, just waiting to receive our Christmas list, so that he can have his angels scurry about like Santa’s elves to fulfill it. Others think prayer is like magic – if only we can find the right words, or if we have a strong enough faith, God will give us everything we want. Neither of these ideas is true. God is not there to fulfill our every wish. Lamott writes, “Prayer means that, in some unique way, we believe we’re invited into a relationship with someone who hears us when we speak in silence.” Prayer is about developing a relationship with God.

Our Executive Presbyter for San José, Rev. Neal Presa, says, “Prayer is like breathing – breathing in the Spirit of God.” Prayer teaches us “how to swim in the tides and whirlpool of life and faith. It’s the foundation…of communicating with God through Jesus Christ in the Spirit. It’s expressing our connection to God, as children who are asking God, who are knocking on our holy Parent’s door for comfort and a listening ear…seeking the guidance and wise love of our Lord.” Anne Lamott adds, “Prayer is communication from one’s heart to God.”

Thinking of God as our heavenly parent also helps explain why we don’t always get what we pray for.

I often use the illustration of a child asking their parent for a bicycle. The parent may refuse because the child is not yet old enough to ride a bike safely. The child is still disappointed and may continue to beg, but a good parent will wait until the right moment to give them the bicycle.

Similarly, although God may sometimes answer our prayers right away, often God says, “no,” or “wait.” God sees the bigger picture and knows what is best for all concerned. Jesus expresses this idea right at the beginning of the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.” Before even asking for our daily bread, we must first ask that God’s will be done. Remember, even Jesus prayed that he would not have to go to the cross, but added, “Not my will, but yours be done.” Although we don’t always understand, we trust that God will do what is best in the end. Prayer assures us that God is present with us, no matter what happens. The Psalmist writes, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you are with me.” God will not take all suffering out of our lives, but God promises to be with us through the darkest of times.

So if prayer doesn’t always “work,” why do we pray? Prayer is about our relationship with God, not getting everything we ask for. Its purpose is to draw us closer to God; to learn to know God, to help us understand God’s plans and to walk in them. Prayer is more about changing us than changing God’s mind.

Last week we read the verse, “Be still and know that I am God.” After we talk to God, it’s good to be still for a while, to listen for what God might say. I don’t mean literally that we hear an actual voice, but sometimes in prayer, an answer will come to whatever dilemma we are facing. Often when praying for others, God will put on our hearts something for us to do. As the Apostle James wrote long ago, “If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,’ and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that?” If we pray for someone’s needs, and we could help them, but we don’t, what good is that? God wants us to put feet to our prayers.

I think there are some prayers God will always answer, if we are open to listening for God’s voice. Jesus reassures his disciples that God will give them the Holy Spirit if they but ask. We believe we all are given the Holy Spirit at the moment of our baptism, but we need to ask for the Spirit’s guidance and make room for the Spirit to act in our lives. We can also ask for wisdom. The Apostle James writes, “If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.” If we ask God to help our faith grow, God will answer that prayer, too.

One final story about prayer that I heard just this week. Governor Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania and his family survived a fire-bombing attempt at the governor’s mansion last April. He and his family are Jewish and they were celebrating Passover. After they went to bed, someone broke into their home, set it on fire, and were coming with a hammer to beat the governor to death when they were apprehended. Fortunately police and fire fighters escorted the governor and his family to safety.

Governor Shapiro was in shock, thinking about what could have happened. In the following days he received hundreds of messages of support from people of all faiths – Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindu. Many of them expressed that they were praying for him and his family. Governor Shapiro said that he felt those prayers, that they strengthened him. I know what he means. At various times in my life, such as serious illness, or tragedy I have felt the prayers of others supporting me. Maybe you have, too.

At an event held for the firefighters who saved his family’s life, the fire department chaplain gave Governor Shapiro a letter. On the back he wrote one of his favorite prayers, the Blessing of Aaron from the Old Testament. It begins, “May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you.” Governor Shapiro was touched - he knew this prayer from memory – it is the same one he says over his children each night. He added, “Prayer unites us all as children of God.”

Prayer is talking to God honestly, from our heart. Prayer draws us closer to God and each other and strengthens our faith. Prayer can bring comfort in the most difficult of times. Lord, teach us to pray. Amen.

Lamott, Anne. Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Presa, Neal. “How Do We Breathe?” in the Presbytery of San José Newsletter, July 23, 2025.

Shapiro, Josh. “Gov. Josh Shapiro on the Arson Attack at the Pennsylvania Governor's Residence,” The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, July 24, 2025.

Sermon ©Deborah Troester 2025